Living Nightmares

Okay, finished catching up on all those blogs I found. (I even commented on one or two of them! I hope I didn't do anything wrong by that. I acted like I was seriously trying to help them..) Again, nothing I'd really consider "strange" going on.


Still in the house by myself. Jennah normally calls at least once every other day, but the last message I got from her was the uh...oh, the 17th? That was last Monday if I recall correctly. She sounded rushed, though. Out of breath. She said she hopefully wouldn't be gone much longer (ha, she's been gone for the past two months. Thank god there's enough money lying around so I haven't had to get a job). Sounded like she was messing with something metallic. Before she hung up I heard her curse under her breath, too. Which...is kinda odd. And that's coming from me.


Well, alright. I take back what I said earlier. I did have another one of my infamous dreams. I want to blame most of it on what I've been reading lately, because of what it had.


To be blunt it was Mr. Thin. I had this creepy dream where he was just standing in my living room, watching me be terrified as I was hiding under the couch waiting for Him to go away. This happened for Christ knows how long, and then suddenly He moved, and had a tentacle...arm...thing wrapped around me. He stared into my eyes with that blank face...and then I woke up.


So, yeah. It sounds like that was caused by what I was reading lately, so I'm not too worried about it. Dreams are dreams, right?

Uhh

Okay, I've kept myself up for the past couple nights because of these things. o_o


Which, I guess is good? But, ahh. I hate to say this, but I miss the sleep. Haha.


Alright. I've finished half the list. Let's finish the rest~ >:3 I wonder what I'm supposed to be saying to these people...there's no way this can be real, right? Yet everyone is acting like they are.

I'm Back

Hey, nonexistent followers! (and Doc if you're even reading this..) My password got reset a while back and I just got it fixed. (sorry! amnesia girl, remember? give me a break.) and man...a lot of stuff has happened lately.


Jennah took off last week. Said it was a business trip. Pff, whatever. I highly doubt a..uhh...come to think of it I have no idea what her job actually is. Huh. Oops.


ANYWAYS~ I've been holding down the fort, and I've been doing a good job if I say so myself~. Oh, yeah! "Kris, you're so much chipper (haha, chipper. I need to start using this word more often.) now! What happened?" you're probably thinking...weeeeell...I guess you could say I got bored of just sitting around moping, hoping to suddenly wake up and have my head full of memories and eggs. Scratch the last part. I mean, trying to hunt around in ways to find my past is only going to hurt me, so why not just ride with the flow and see what happens down the road? I can't get stuck on this forever. Besides, it's boring just moping around.


So, yeah. Nothing's really happened. Occasional dream that creeps me out, nothing new. Then I can barely remember it when I wake up. Oh, yeah! I was snooping around Jennah's computer (what. I got bored. Sorry.) and found a window open with like...fifteen different blogs. Oh, I took a screencap, hold on, it's somewhere around here.

Ha, that was instantaneous for you, wasn't it? Took me like ten minutes to dig back up. Hehe...should I read these? I need something to kill time.

Apparently the blog urls are~

The Mystic

Deja vu Dreamer

The Tutorial

Make it Count

Observe & Terminate

Take the Myth

Something to Leave Behind

the eleventh hour

Get your game face on

A Really Bad Joke

Time to Talk

The Morning Hunter

Risk Death

The London Librarian

and

Return to Slender

sooo yeah...this should be a fun couple hours/days. 

See you all on the other side.

There was this dream I had...I just woke up and figured I should probably write this down as soon as possible, and...it just...wow. Just, wow. It....

I have no idea what this was. None. I wouldn't call this a nightmare, it...no, I wouldn't call this scary. But this wasn't a regular dream. It was...there was just something off about it. Yeah, I said this wasn't creepy, but...there was...

I don't know. I really don't know. I should know, but I don't. What I can remember from the dream is fading. Maybe this is good, maybe..

Why is this bugging me? It was just another dream. Same as always. But...It felt strange. I just..hmm. It was different then normal. It's the only reason it's really standing out. I was dreaming but it felt like I wasn't there. It felt like...well, it did feel like a dream of mine. But I don't know. The only real thing I remember is seeing a person off in the distance. Very...very far off.

I was running to him. But no matter how fast I was running he stayed the same distance away. It was as if he was keeping the same distance from me the whole time. But he wasn't moving. I didn't see him move at all. He was just standing in some clearing. A break in the forest. It just, ah...it was...that...I don't know.

Shoot. I can hear Jennah starting to get up. What time is it? It shouldn't be late enough for anyone to be normally getting up.

Maybe her sleep pattern is weird. I don't know.

It seems I could write a very short list of things I do know.

Gaze

Jennah decided I should probably go get some air. I didn't have any reason to disagree (to my misfortune), so we went out downtown to some restaurant.


Which was boring, but there was something kind of strange afterwards. I wouldn't have taken any notice of it if it wasn't for Jennah's reaction.


I still don't really get the big fuss, but it was a bit strange. I was...afraid, I guess you could say. Not exactly sure, I'm still sort of dazed, but....I don't know.


After we left, there was this bum kid on the street. He had to have been sixteen. Seventeen tops. He had this really messy blonde hair, I almost thought it was white when I first saw him, and it covered the left side of his child-like face.


I know I said he was probably sixteen, but his face made him look twelve. His eyes were wide in what seemed like fear, and they weren't focused on anything. I don't even think he knew we were there. His eyes were these pretty crystal blue color, too. They looked so innocent, but the glimmer of life that should have shone in them was missing...


Now, I said it seemed he had no idea we were there. At least, he had no idea I was there. Jennah tried to duck as soon as she saw whoever the kid was, but he seemed to lock onto her presence instantaneously. He made some sort of noise, perhaps he said a word. I'm not sure, I didn't hear. I just saw his lips move. Jennah then pulled me along, and said to keep moving.


I want to go back and see if I can find that kid again, but he looked like he was half dead. I doubt he's going to last much longer. I feel bad, but I don't. I can't start being sympathetic for other people before sorting my own stuff out.

Dreams

They're supposed to be a recollection of the mind, where it sorts out what had happened, and your dream is a mindscrew of things that happened to you mashed together, right?


Nightmares, though. They leave you awake with your heart pounding, and a cold sweat covering your body as you try to recollect what just happened. Sometimes you can, but most of the time the fragments slip through your fingers and you're left wondering what left you shaken up so badly.


Then there's always that one horror that's created in the depths of your brain. It haunts you. It keeps it's claws around you throat, waiting for the chance you make the wrong move, and pop, you're dead. Insecurity. Fear. Terror. Guilt. Sorrow. Shame. It feeds on negative feelings, growing stronger while you're just trying not to screw up in life.


Dreams can be horrifying. Yet there's the good ones to. The ones that make you not want to ever wake up. The ones that make you think that you don't suck and you actually belong somewhere. It's paradise. But it's just a tease, because eventually you will wake up, and whatever you dreamed will just float away into borderline nonexistence, buried somewhere in the dark gallows of the brain. Lost forever, until it suddenly decides to pop back up again. And again. And again. Every time you think you're closer to achieving something it's yanked away from you at last second.


Yet people need to sleep. If you don't, you die. It's not fair, is it? Either die or be teased while you're able to live.

Now, take  me. I can't remember anything. How do I sort the shards of what I can recollect together? I can't.


But the answer's hidden in there somewhere...


And you wonder why people say "life sucks".

Irony

I’m starting to remember one or two things.

It’s not “alert the medics” worthy, but while I’ve been dreaming I’ve been getting glimpses of what I would assume is my childhood. I can see my parents taking me to my first day of kindergarten. Them celebrating one of my birthdays. Things like that.

I feel like it’s a tease, though. I get stuff like that but when I try to remember more, there’s nothing. My head is taunting me. Even the few memories I can remember I feel like I’m not seeing the whole thing. Almost as if my mind is physically blocking the memory. Maybe I repressed them?

The thought of me repressing them is actually scary, because what if I don’t want to find out who I was then? What if I was some serial killer, or an arsonist? Or something that could get me arrested. In fact, what if the only reason they didn’t take me off the plug while I was in a coma was because they needed me to stand on trial? They couldn’t try me now; not when I don’t remember anything.

Jennah’s told me to calm down, but I really can’t. The fact that my head is empty terrifies me.

I want to be normal.

Doc, anyone at the hospital. Are you reading this? Is there something you’re not telling me? Am I just being extremely paranoid?

I feel like I'm going to go crazy before I find out who I was.