There was a

Red-headed guy following me around when I went out shopping today. He just watched me.


And he made himself clear he was following me around. What is he trying to do?


Don't want to say anything to Ray.


I'm kind of scared.


...next time I go out I'm bringing someone with me.


I hope Jennah gets home soon. Ray said he wanted to meet her...and the place will be a lot nicer with three people.


I'm going to go make some hot chocolate and try to forget about today.


What a creep.

Not alone anymore!

Hey guys! :3


I'll try to keep the atmosphere as light as possible. Hehe. A lot of stories either ended or took a turn for the worse lately...it's kind of sad. I really liked some of the characters. Michael, Konaa, Lucas, Joel...I mean, they're not real, but it's still kind of sad seeing them go. Someone you've been watching just suddenly disappears.


Oh, gee. I'm rambling again >< I get connected to people, fictional or not. Sorry...


Jennah told me last Wednesday that she had to leave again, but I managed to convince her to stay for Thanksgiving! :3


...not totally sure how we were supposed to spend it, to be honest, but we ate turkey and all, so I think we did it right. (Jennah seemed really awkward about it. I wonder if she ever celebrated it when she was little...)


So she had to leave again Friday. D: I spent the past week moping around by myself. The place gets really creepy when you're by yourself...>.<;;; but it's okay though!


Today I went out to go get coffee (oh my god, cappuccinos are so good. @.@ like...all foamy and creamy and I had like...5 today but I want another one.) and when I was leaving the store, I noticed a kid laying in the street. He had black hair all messed up and sticking out in areas, and there were streaks of dirt running along his face. (I'll admit, it was kind of cute. Like...when a little kid goes out to play in the mud and comes back in covered in dirt cute. Maybe he was playing in the mud? Hehe), and he had these green eyes that were just kind of...stood out. Like he had been through Hell and back and was about to go back in for another round.


So naturally, I walked up to him. I guess he thought I was going to give him money? He looked at me for a second and when he realized I didn't have anything in my hands, he just growled, "what is it?".


I told him about my little situation, and how I wouldn't mind having a guest stay at the apartment. He could get cleaned up and spend his time comfortably until he figures out what he needs to do, and asked if he wanted to come.


(I know. I know. Stranger danger 101. But this kid has something to him. I can trust him. And I feel like he needs to be around somebody right now. He looks so lonely...)


He hesitated, but agreed. That was this morning. Right now he's sitting across the room from me on our other laptop, and something's on the TV. I think it's ESPN? He said using it as background noise soothes him. Heh. Alright then.


Oh, I haven't mentioned his name yet, have I? He said it was Raymond. But most people call him Ray.


Maybe this place won't be so creepy anymore. ^^

Jennah's Back

Finally! :3


Do you know how creepy this apartment gets at night? Well, it's even worse when you're by yourself. x.x;


(I guess what I was reading doesn't help, though. Hehe...)


So, hm.


Oh, god. Yeah. Turns out Jennah was checking in on the blog (Hi! :3) so she knows what I've been reading. >.>;


Oops. She didn't seem to get mad, though! She said she was 'glad I was taking the time to appreciate the authors' works." and then we started talking about them. Turns out she's been keeping up. It was a little odd discussing them, but you kind of just got to roll with it.


Turns out her favorite characters are Writer, David, and Morningstar, and she started going off on a tangent about characters like Shaun, Konaa, Hylo, Spencer, and Elaine, and how more and more of them seem to be popping up. "They're like rabbits now." she said. I guess she does have a point. Lately more and more people seem to be making blogs.


She really does seem to be a loyal fan. Hehe. :P


Then came the bad news - she said she wasn't done, and she'll probably have to leave again soon. What she was working on got put on hold because there'd been no change in the situation for about two weeks, but she doesn't know when she'll get called to leave again.


...I really need to ask her what her job is. .__.

Lolling About

Really haven't had much to do lately, but something has caught my interest.


I'm not too sure with what's going on with this, but I guess Elaine, Shaun, and Konaa are running off to go save this group of kids. I've spent the past day or so reading what they've had and I'm actually wondering how this stuff is all set up.


I know it's not really real, but I hope that they're safe. The guys are so likable. :< I hope nothing bad happens.

Got a call from Jennah today.


She told me she's probably going to be home soon. What she's working on "is finally going somewhere", as she puts it. She was complaining about how nothing had changed in the past couple of weeks, but she's excited that her trip should be over soon.


So, that's good news...but I want to ask her about the blogs I found. Should I wait until she gets back? Should I not say anything? >>;; I really have no idea what to do right now.

Living Nightmares

Okay, finished catching up on all those blogs I found. (I even commented on one or two of them! I hope I didn't do anything wrong by that. I acted like I was seriously trying to help them..) Again, nothing I'd really consider "strange" going on.


Still in the house by myself. Jennah normally calls at least once every other day, but the last message I got from her was the uh...oh, the 17th? That was last Monday if I recall correctly. She sounded rushed, though. Out of breath. She said she hopefully wouldn't be gone much longer (ha, she's been gone for the past two months. Thank god there's enough money lying around so I haven't had to get a job). Sounded like she was messing with something metallic. Before she hung up I heard her curse under her breath, too. Which...is kinda odd. And that's coming from me.


Well, alright. I take back what I said earlier. I did have another one of my infamous dreams. I want to blame most of it on what I've been reading lately, because of what it had.


To be blunt it was Mr. Thin. I had this creepy dream where he was just standing in my living room, watching me be terrified as I was hiding under the couch waiting for Him to go away. This happened for Christ knows how long, and then suddenly He moved, and had a tentacle...arm...thing wrapped around me. He stared into my eyes with that blank face...and then I woke up.


So, yeah. It sounds like that was caused by what I was reading lately, so I'm not too worried about it. Dreams are dreams, right?

Uhh

Okay, I've kept myself up for the past couple nights because of these things. o_o


Which, I guess is good? But, ahh. I hate to say this, but I miss the sleep. Haha.


Alright. I've finished half the list. Let's finish the rest~ >:3 I wonder what I'm supposed to be saying to these people...there's no way this can be real, right? Yet everyone is acting like they are.

I'm Back

Hey, nonexistent followers! (and Doc if you're even reading this..) My password got reset a while back and I just got it fixed. (sorry! amnesia girl, remember? give me a break.) and man...a lot of stuff has happened lately.


Jennah took off last week. Said it was a business trip. Pff, whatever. I highly doubt a..uhh...come to think of it I have no idea what her job actually is. Huh. Oops.


ANYWAYS~ I've been holding down the fort, and I've been doing a good job if I say so myself~. Oh, yeah! "Kris, you're so much chipper (haha, chipper. I need to start using this word more often.) now! What happened?" you're probably thinking...weeeeell...I guess you could say I got bored of just sitting around moping, hoping to suddenly wake up and have my head full of memories and eggs. Scratch the last part. I mean, trying to hunt around in ways to find my past is only going to hurt me, so why not just ride with the flow and see what happens down the road? I can't get stuck on this forever. Besides, it's boring just moping around.


So, yeah. Nothing's really happened. Occasional dream that creeps me out, nothing new. Then I can barely remember it when I wake up. Oh, yeah! I was snooping around Jennah's computer (what. I got bored. Sorry.) and found a window open with like...fifteen different blogs. Oh, I took a screencap, hold on, it's somewhere around here.

Ha, that was instantaneous for you, wasn't it? Took me like ten minutes to dig back up. Hehe...should I read these? I need something to kill time.

Apparently the blog urls are~

The Mystic

Deja vu Dreamer

The Tutorial

Make it Count

Observe & Terminate

Take the Myth

Something to Leave Behind

the eleventh hour

Get your game face on

A Really Bad Joke

Time to Talk

The Morning Hunter

Risk Death

The London Librarian

and

Return to Slender

sooo yeah...this should be a fun couple hours/days. 

See you all on the other side.

There was this dream I had...I just woke up and figured I should probably write this down as soon as possible, and...it just...wow. Just, wow. It....

I have no idea what this was. None. I wouldn't call this a nightmare, it...no, I wouldn't call this scary. But this wasn't a regular dream. It was...there was just something off about it. Yeah, I said this wasn't creepy, but...there was...

I don't know. I really don't know. I should know, but I don't. What I can remember from the dream is fading. Maybe this is good, maybe..

Why is this bugging me? It was just another dream. Same as always. But...It felt strange. I just..hmm. It was different then normal. It's the only reason it's really standing out. I was dreaming but it felt like I wasn't there. It felt like...well, it did feel like a dream of mine. But I don't know. The only real thing I remember is seeing a person off in the distance. Very...very far off.

I was running to him. But no matter how fast I was running he stayed the same distance away. It was as if he was keeping the same distance from me the whole time. But he wasn't moving. I didn't see him move at all. He was just standing in some clearing. A break in the forest. It just, ah...it was...that...I don't know.

Shoot. I can hear Jennah starting to get up. What time is it? It shouldn't be late enough for anyone to be normally getting up.

Maybe her sleep pattern is weird. I don't know.

It seems I could write a very short list of things I do know.

Gaze

Jennah decided I should probably go get some air. I didn't have any reason to disagree (to my misfortune), so we went out downtown to some restaurant.


Which was boring, but there was something kind of strange afterwards. I wouldn't have taken any notice of it if it wasn't for Jennah's reaction.


I still don't really get the big fuss, but it was a bit strange. I was...afraid, I guess you could say. Not exactly sure, I'm still sort of dazed, but....I don't know.


After we left, there was this bum kid on the street. He had to have been sixteen. Seventeen tops. He had this really messy blonde hair, I almost thought it was white when I first saw him, and it covered the left side of his child-like face.


I know I said he was probably sixteen, but his face made him look twelve. His eyes were wide in what seemed like fear, and they weren't focused on anything. I don't even think he knew we were there. His eyes were these pretty crystal blue color, too. They looked so innocent, but the glimmer of life that should have shone in them was missing...


Now, I said it seemed he had no idea we were there. At least, he had no idea I was there. Jennah tried to duck as soon as she saw whoever the kid was, but he seemed to lock onto her presence instantaneously. He made some sort of noise, perhaps he said a word. I'm not sure, I didn't hear. I just saw his lips move. Jennah then pulled me along, and said to keep moving.


I want to go back and see if I can find that kid again, but he looked like he was half dead. I doubt he's going to last much longer. I feel bad, but I don't. I can't start being sympathetic for other people before sorting my own stuff out.

Dreams

They're supposed to be a recollection of the mind, where it sorts out what had happened, and your dream is a mindscrew of things that happened to you mashed together, right?


Nightmares, though. They leave you awake with your heart pounding, and a cold sweat covering your body as you try to recollect what just happened. Sometimes you can, but most of the time the fragments slip through your fingers and you're left wondering what left you shaken up so badly.


Then there's always that one horror that's created in the depths of your brain. It haunts you. It keeps it's claws around you throat, waiting for the chance you make the wrong move, and pop, you're dead. Insecurity. Fear. Terror. Guilt. Sorrow. Shame. It feeds on negative feelings, growing stronger while you're just trying not to screw up in life.


Dreams can be horrifying. Yet there's the good ones to. The ones that make you not want to ever wake up. The ones that make you think that you don't suck and you actually belong somewhere. It's paradise. But it's just a tease, because eventually you will wake up, and whatever you dreamed will just float away into borderline nonexistence, buried somewhere in the dark gallows of the brain. Lost forever, until it suddenly decides to pop back up again. And again. And again. Every time you think you're closer to achieving something it's yanked away from you at last second.


Yet people need to sleep. If you don't, you die. It's not fair, is it? Either die or be teased while you're able to live.

Now, take  me. I can't remember anything. How do I sort the shards of what I can recollect together? I can't.


But the answer's hidden in there somewhere...


And you wonder why people say "life sucks".

Irony

I’m starting to remember one or two things.

It’s not “alert the medics” worthy, but while I’ve been dreaming I’ve been getting glimpses of what I would assume is my childhood. I can see my parents taking me to my first day of kindergarten. Them celebrating one of my birthdays. Things like that.

I feel like it’s a tease, though. I get stuff like that but when I try to remember more, there’s nothing. My head is taunting me. Even the few memories I can remember I feel like I’m not seeing the whole thing. Almost as if my mind is physically blocking the memory. Maybe I repressed them?

The thought of me repressing them is actually scary, because what if I don’t want to find out who I was then? What if I was some serial killer, or an arsonist? Or something that could get me arrested. In fact, what if the only reason they didn’t take me off the plug while I was in a coma was because they needed me to stand on trial? They couldn’t try me now; not when I don’t remember anything.

Jennah’s told me to calm down, but I really can’t. The fact that my head is empty terrifies me.

I want to be normal.

Doc, anyone at the hospital. Are you reading this? Is there something you’re not telling me? Am I just being extremely paranoid?

I feel like I'm going to go crazy before I find out who I was.

Night

Jennah’s told me I’ve been shouting at night. She asked if I was having nightmares again, but I don’t remember dreaming anything.

She also told me that I used to have them all the time. Really bad ones. I’d wake up and wouldn’t be able to say anything to anyone for a couple of hours. I ‘was too scared’, she said.

I don’t know what I’d be screaming about. I’m finding this frustrated; why can’t I remember? I remember the few dreams I’ve had since I’ve woken up this past six months.

I saw that the hospital called me yesterday while Jennah took me out. They didn’t leave a message though; and when I went to call them back they said they never called. I had asked to speak to Doc, and they said he’s been out of town for a while now.

I’m really confused by all this. I just want to know who I am; I want to know what’s going on. To be honest, I’m only writing in this for a hope that Doc will finally tell me that they came up with a pill that can restore memory loss.

I’d love that, however unlikely it would be.

Being amnesia girl is getting tiring.

Lounging Around

--and extremely bored.


Very, very, very bored.


I don't think anyone could possibly know the level of bored I am on right now. If this was a game, I'd be stuck on that boss that's really difficult but you know you should be able to beat it.


Except I can't. And it's very annoying.


Very, very, ver-- okay, I'll stop.


I convinced Jennah to take me out sometime soon, she made a face at first, but eventually agreed. Which made me kind of happy. It's not an emotion I feel much lately, so I'll take it and leave without complaining. She didn't say what day though, so I'm kind of wallowing in anticipation.


...and scuffling around...with nothing to do....


Someone needs to tell me what's going on.

Internet

Okay, doing nothing but just lounging around this place while everyone’s at work is extremely boring.

I’ve been going around the internet trying to figure out what's going on. At times, though, the screen just locks up. It's very irritating. I've had the computer shut down after letting out this loud noise too. It's overheating, I guess. I don't know. What do I know?

I’d go out, but I would get lost. I don’t know my way around. I think there’s a lake outside. Jennah said it was built for the apartment complex, but we have to pay for it. Why would we pay for a lake? That seems ridiculous. Especially one that the whole complex pays for…

Doc. I haven’t heard from you since I made this. You are reading this, aren’t you? I’d find it a waste of time if the person who told me to write this isn’t keeping up.

Nothing has happened; and everything’s been going by really slowly. I need something to do. I need to know what I used to do. Just anything that would stop the emptiness in my brain from being extremely noticeable.

Introductions

Hello.

My name is Kristal, and I’m an amnesiac.


Well, that’s what my doctor told me.

I don’t know who I am. I was told I had hit my head two years ago and suffered brain damage. I was in a coma for a year and a half, and six months ago I woke up without the slightest clue on who I am.

I was told I was “making good enough progress to be released from the hospital,” and that one of my "‘friends’ would let me live in her apartment." Her name is Jennah. I was also told to make an online journal so my doctor can keep track of what I’m doing.

I named it “Mind’s Prison” as a reference to my situation. My memories are jailed up somewhere inside my head. I’ve been told my sarcastic nature hasn’t left me. Sarcasm is good, right?

Okay, so, if you’re reading this Doc, I made my journal, and I emailed you the link. You should have gotten this if you’re reading it now.

I just returned to the apartment, and Jennah is being extremely nice. That’s all that’s really happening. I can't tell if she's just trying to hard, or if this is really her personality.

Oops. I shouldn't be insulting the person who's supposed to be my best friend.

Well, I guess that's really it. I don't know what else you want, Doc.